Build Your Life NowJan 16, 2019
As a follow up to my last blog post, I spent a decent amount of time thinking about what I wanted my life to look like. But I had to branch out some to find new ways of thinking that would help me create a compelling vision for the life I want to live. It wasn't going to happen only by adding back fewer things, my first principles. As good as that is for reducing stress, I wanted to think bigger and add in things that would take my life to new heights, new places. I spent time in solitude thinking about what truly brings me alive and how I can add more of that to my life. I reviewed old journals, old lists of goals, old dreams that I had let whither on the vine.
I can’t do them all, and that’s not the point. My goal is to create a life I love to live. I want a life that I don’t want a vacation from for two weeks a year.
We all have choices in life. We can react to what happens in our lives, or we can go out and make things happen. If we spend our time reacting to life and not intentionally building our life, we usually make ourselves miserable. We think, “What’s the use in trying? It’s always going to be this way. Nothings going to change.” When we think that, we’re right. Nothing is going to change, at least not in the way we want it to. We have to become the person capable of making the change we want.
When we take control over designing and building our lives, it can be overwhelming. We have a huge buffet of activities to choose from, but we only have so much time. We often don’t make choices because we’re afraid of making the wrong choice. So we stay reactionary, thinking we don’t want to add additional stress, failure, or work to our plate. We wait for someone to ask us out instead of asking out that person we’re attracted to because we don’t want to be rejected. We wait until we’re laid off instead of going out and finding a better paying job because we haven’t fully decided what we want or acquired the skills to earn more.
To take control and build our lives now, not in the future, we have to grow into something new in order to experience something new. We grow by having new experiences, learning new skills, going to different places, talking to different people, basically, stretching just outside our comfort zones until what used to be uncomfortable is not as scary. And then if we like it, we stretch a little more until it becomes enjoyable. This could apply to work, relationships, exercise, food, social circles, you name it.
To get outside of our comfort zone though, we have to take intentional action or wait until something forces us out of our comfort zone. If you don’t want to leave your life to chance, I encourage to spend some time thinking about what you want your life to look like and who you would have to become to live that life consistently. What skills would you need to develop? What habits would you need to instill? What relationships would you need to build, or in some cases, let go of?
Dreaming big for ourselves can be scary. But so is hiding in the shadows waiting for life to go our way. We never know how much time we have left, so I encourage you to start taking small steps today to build your ideal life and to become the best version of yourself possible.