My family and I were traveling this past week and stopped for dinner at a chain restaurant well known to interstate travelers. The customer service we received made me question my expectations of the wait staff when we dine out.

Our order was taken promptly. Our glasses were never empty. Our food was delivered after a reasonable wait and we were asked several times if we needed anything else.

So what was the problem? Personality. Or more specifically, the lack thereof.

Our waitress was polite but had very little personality. Like wet cardboard. You know the type. The kind of person who does their job adequately but you still question their motivation for being there. Barely holding things together. No engagement, just quick questions and little eye contact.

I realized I usually equate ”no personality” with “poor service”, even if all my needs are met. Probably not fair, but once you experience service that raises the bar, it’s hard to accept less. You start to expect exceptional service. Especially if you have kids, an engaging waiter can make all the difference between enjoying your meal and regretting having ventured out.

I wonder in my own business where I’m providing just adequate service while my clients are expecting more. Who have they dealt with before that raised the bar? How can I raise the bar even higher?

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Jolt! by Phil Cooke is a well-written overview of some basic personal and professional development approaches. If you have read many self-improvement or business development books, there’s not a lot of new information to be gained. Instead of jolting your worldview, you’ll just be gently prodded, which is also useful for growth. If personal and professional development books aren’t your normal fare, then Jolt! will serve as a broad introduction to topics as varied as expanding your life’s purpose, focusing on what you’re doing and where you’re going, changing habits, being creative, handling failure and how to leave a legacy. However, several chapters into the book the reader will quickly realize the advice is a mile wide and an inch deep. Several chapters have great advice, but lack actual action steps. An example is the chapter on overcoming fear and insecurity where the reader is encouraged to “start thinking realistically”.

As a media producer, Cooke uses many references to Hollywood throughout the book to back up his assertions about change and how to go about not being overwhelmed with personal growth. Sometimes the examples seem to serve as more of a reminder to the reader of his credentials than of providing real insight into how to handle change.

While the book will keep the reader engaged because it doesn’t bog you down with specifics, Cooke does seem to be muddling his insights on personal and business growth, as well as psychology and spirituality.  These areas are intertwined in our lives, but some of the transitions between these subjects in the book are not as smooth as they could be. For example, in the chapter on eliminating destructive distractions, several pages are devoted to discussing technology and the pace of life. The next three pages are spent discussing how to let go of past distractions through forgiveness. The detailed information on forgiveness seems out of place beside some of the other sparsely described methods for handling constant change.

In the book’s closing, Cooke encourages readers to reread the chapters that apply most to the challenging moments in their lives. My recommendation is to read this book for a great overview of personal growth topics and then to find more detailed resources for the specific areas where you are facing challenges.

Do you get bored with doing the same thing all the time?  I do.  In the past as a stay-at-home dad the odds of me doing any one thing for very long were minuscule.  But with both kids starting school last August I’ve got more time to work, create and reflect.  My reflection, the evolution of my thoughts and my eventual decision have been spurred by three books from Seth Godin: Linchpin, The Dip and Poke the Box.

Let’s start with the most recent book, Poke the Box. It’s about starting and doing things differently. Starting something new that is art. The gift that only you can give to the world and doing it because the world needs it. I’m not afraid to start something in order to see if I really like it.  Over the past year I’ve started many things.  I’ve started Constant Change Coaching, started projects and taken on clients which have grown revenues for Vekkin Solutions by 40% while reducing hours worked by 25%, started the Sane Dad podcast, developed several internal apps for my business, started a book on creating change, launched GetOrForget.com and written plans for another three online products and web apps.  Starting isn’t my problem.

Linchpin is about shipping. Getting your art out the door and into the world. Not just planning, saying you’re going to do it and then stalling.  Actually shipping, releasing it into the wild and seeing what happens. It’s about making a difference because you’ve done valuable work and weren’t afraid to share it with the world. I’ve put my work out there, in multiple places over time to see what interests me and what provides value to others, especially my clients. Shipping isn’t my problem.

The Dip, the first of these books I read, well over a year ago, is about quitting.  Rather, knowing when to quit and when to persist. If you were to plot your effort vs. results, between the initial excitement of starting and the finish, there’s a dip.  It’s where you start to question why you’re doing what you’re doing and if you should continue.  How do you know when to quit something and when to persist? Seth says if the payoff on the other side of the dip is worth more than the pain within the dip, then keep going, persist.  If not, you might as well quit. The investment wouldn’t be worth your time. And the payoff isn’t always monetary.  Often, it’s the emotional currency we spend to do something that extracts the greatest cost on our lives. Quitting is my problem. I admit it.

As I reflected on the projects I’ve started and shipped I realized they don’t all allow me to do my best work, the art that taps into my greatest strengths and abilities. The emotional return of continuing those items isn’t worth the investment of my soul.  The dip, for me, has become a rut. A comfortable rut, but not an exciting adventure which is what I crave. So to get out of the rut and create a better story for my life, I’m quitting some projects.  I don’t mean wither on the vine, either.  I’m hacking and pruning.  This frees up energy and resources for greater, future growth and excitement. In the past I’ve let things hang around, even if I wasn’t properly feeding them. I was afraid to completely let go and move out of my comfort zone.  My comfort zone has always been technology and development.  It’s what I’m good at even though it doesn’t provide the same excitement as earlier in my life.

What does excite me in working with my current clients, though, is solving problems.  I’ll still be solving problems and helping people see what is possible, just not by building websites, implementing work flow solutions or developing apps. The work I do going forward will be a part of Constant Change Coaching. More details will be coming out in the next couple of weeks over on that site.

And if you’re a current client reading this, please know you have my full commitment to your projects and helping you solve your problems. The vast majority of projects I’m quitting are the internal ones I’ve launched, experimented with, learned from and subsequently neglected.

Just writing this, putting an electronic stake in the ground and saying “This is where I’m headed”, is liberating. I can proudly say I’m a quitter.  My lizard brain is scared. My thinking brain is excited.

Are you a quitter?  When you poke the box and start something new, how do you let go of other, less exciting work?

I was planning my day this morning when I sketched out this pyramid of how I view my business.

My pyramid starts with what is most important to me – freedom.  I like the freedom to work when and where I want, and on what I want.  Freedom provides you with options, choices.  One choice important to me is to work on projects and areas I’m passionate about.  When I’m engaged in work I care about, it’s a lot easier to serve others because I want to share my knowledge and experience.  When sharing my experience and knowledge in technology and personal development, I strive to provide value to others.  It doesn’t do me, or anyone else, any good to share information that is useless. If what I share provides enough value to people I earn the right to charge for my knowledge because the value exceeds the cost.

At first glance it appears that money is the most important because it sits atop the pyramid.  Look at it this way: If you choose work primarily for money, you limit the ways you can provide value.  Maybe the work isn’t a great fit for you and it’s hard to care enough to provide value and serve others if you don’t care much about the work.  You’re not working from your passion or your strengths, and if you’re working for someone else who sets all the rules, your freedom is limited.

I’ll take the bottom-up approach any day.

Are you basing your work and your life on a solid foundation?  If it’s a different foundation than mine, please share.  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.